Without giving away too much....I was reminded today that just because you may think you know someone, doesn't mean you do.
I am a firm believer in love. Always have, always will. However, with that being said I am smart enough to know that some "love" can be toxic and hazardous to your health and not worth holding onto.
Someone close to me put her faith, trust and love into someone and they betrayed her. This was someone who I generally thought was a good person, but like some of his predecessors, he let poor decisions effect his role as a lover and a friend.
I will tell you guys that there's nothing like getting a disturbing phone call at 6am to really put things in perspective. For a while I have sat on the sidelines and watched these two and hoped for her sake that things were going to work out. Me, being the greatest pessimist that I know took their relationship with a grain of salt.
I must admit that I wasn't too excited about this courtship that seem to come out of nowhere about 2 1/2 to 3 years ago. Call me a skeptic. **SHRUG** On the other hand, I felt that she needed a break from all the bad guys that have been in and out of her life.
Always on the outside looking in, I played my position with moments of "Oh, she thinks she can try to split us up" being spoken into a cell phone. I was hurt at the time, but eventually got over it. I chalked it up to her acting like Pat Benatar in "Love Is A Battlefield." So I let them be. After all who am I to stand in the way of love?
Then the phone call happened. As she told me the whole story I felt a fit of anger and disappointment filled up my entire body. Eventually the shock settled in.
I thought about all the things she said about him before up until this point. What went wrong here? How can someone that claims they love you unconditionally hurt you so much that it would drive you to do physical harm to them??? How can you take vows just 8 months prior and break them just like that?!
BACKSTORY: I have been with my guy for 7+ years now (8 in August). I admit that I haven't been the perfect girlfriend. We have broken up numerous times, more than we can actually count. However, we still managed to make it work. We love each other to know what to do and not to do. We make our own rules.
MY FRIEND'S STORY: They haven't been together that long, but got married last summer. She told me that she gave him a test. She wanted him to study three things: Trust, Confidence, and Respect. She was met with curses. He became defensive and told her that he was over undercover like that since ever since he was a little boy. She appears to want to work things out.
REALITY: If someone you were with cheated on you whether you were married or not and when confronted acted like he or she didn't care, would you willingly stay with them? I know I wouldn't and I am not hesitating when I say that. I think if you love someone deep enough, you do everything in your power to stay faithful to one another. If not, then there is no point in being in a relationship. I personally don't want her to go back to this jerk (jerk is being too kind) because I think she can do bad by herself without the aid of someone who is not going to appreciate her for who she is. Plain and simple.
Infidelity can help attribute to the destruction of families. Especially, if kids are involved. So I implore you....think twice before you go into a relationship. Get to know one another first before you decide you want to put a ring on that finger. Sorry Beyonce, I think he has to love you before he put a ring on it.
Donnell Jones - Where I Wanna Be
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Q.A.: Would You Tell A Friend That Their Mate Is Cheating?