Skip to main content

Genesis Is In Need Of Some Soul Searching Pt. 4

It's Friday morning and I'm feeling kind of funky. Funky, as in sort of in a rut.  I'm currently sitting in my boyfriend's house on my laptop writing to you.

It's been a week since I said goodbye to Kaycee. And trust me, it wasn't easy for me. I almost felt like crying as in i hate goodbyes. They just does something to my soul that I just can't shake. After I left the center that day, I felt that for once I was getting myself together. I had said to her that I don't think I will be meeting with anyone else, because it would be hard for me to start over with a new therapist.

So now, I have been therapy free and I feel like I sort of need her. But since she has moved on from the center, I don't want to start over. It would take too long to reestablish certain things. So, I just stick to what I should be doing, talking to my boyfriend about what ails me. But I, Genesis have been having issues trying to deal with certain things that have occurred around me. Again, I find myself mixed up with the same elements that have brought me into therapy in the first place. As if I needed that kind of torment again. No less than 5 hours after I finished therapy last Wednesday there is still the same foolishness that occurs.

But at last, I have to suck it up and keep it moving. I can't sacrifice my progress into entertain some of the bad elements in my life. I have to let them live their lives and I have to focus on fixing mine. It would be nice if I can win the lottery and help create the food pantry that my boyfriend and I have been talking about. But things and money take time to get. And in the mist of all of this, the bane of my existence called me on Tuesday and began to interrogate me. I swear some people will never change. So, I have learned to stop expecting my mother to change, because as we were taught as little children that our parents are always right and we as children are horribly wrong.

In my 29 years, I have never felt this much aggravation from anyone else except from my mother. What can I say? This woman knows what buttons to push. She is fully aware that I am short tempered. LOL. My father has said to me on many occasions that I have my late grandfather's personality (just in female form). I don't know whether or not that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I continue to march on.

I have to learn that I still have to keep moving on, because I need to do it for me. I can't be free, unless I set all the garbage free. So there is still one hell of a journey left. I just hope I figure all of this out.

Til we meet again.

Comments

  1. Throw away anything that can hold you from decisions you need to make. Be resolute and unyielding in your efforts regardless of how hopeless certain things seem... plenty of time to sort out the heart once the mind and wallet have been restored.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Scandal Season 7 Review...the deconstruction of Olivia Pope

Olivia Pope portrayed by Kerry Washington. Hi friends, I know it has been some time since I covered Scandal and I apologize. I have been watching multiple shows all at once, so it has been hard for me to get my reviews together. With that being said, I have a major gripe with the seventh and last season of Scandal. I want to start off by saying..."Where is Olivia and what the hell happened to her?!" As a viewer of the show since its first season, I have seen a lot of changes happen. From the departure of OPA alum Stephen at the end of season 1, Columbus Short's publicized departure from the show at the end of season 3, the death of James (which makes me still hate Jake) and so on. But this season has Liv as the head of B613 (Command) and she is quickly becoming the stuff that nightmares are made of. Liv has now taken to tactics that her father, Rowan would do when he was the head of the organization. But seriously, what happened to the lady in the white hat? Wher…

Style2Smile + Munstruck Company Presents: Pop Up Shop & Fashion Show!

Hi friends,

If you love to dress or just enjoy a nice fashion show or even just love to shop. Then you have come to the right place. Style2Smile and Munstruck Company will be having a Pop Up Shop + Fashion Show on October 14, 2017 at 581 New Jersey Ave. Brooklyn, NY, 11207 from 6pm-9pm. You are welcome to bring friends and family! I can't wait to see you then!

#30 Day Shipping Challenge: Day 2: What was your first ship?

Over the years, I have been fans of many ships. But, no ship has got me in my feelings as much as Buffy and Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Angel). Buffy and Angel was my first ever ship. From the moment that they meet outside the Bronze to the moment after the fight with the mayor, Angel and Buff stare at each other from a distance as he turns to leave (Angel goes off to L.A. to have his spin-off series.) The ‘Bangel’ ship was the first tv couple that I had ever written fanfiction on. I don’t know, at 16 years old, they were thee ‘it’ couple...despite the fact that he was a 200 something year old vampire and she was a teenage girl groomed to be the Slayer (on paper this pairing is sooo not legal). But their relationship made for such interesting drama. Especially, after Angel turns into Angelus (Angel without a soul) after he and Buffy consummate their relationship. Things are never the same with these two, especially when Angelus begins to torture Buffy and the Scooby Ga…