Living Single

Hello:

I just wanted to start by saying that the title to this blog has two meanings for me. First, it's obviously based off of the 90's television show of the same name and secondly, it is the result of a Facebook post a friend of mine posted. His post read, "Why is it soo hard for women to keep it 1000 with men? (Yes 1000)." So, I started thinking about it more intensely. I added my two cents into the conversation. But after I left my last comment, I really took a hard look at myself and the journey I have been on for the past 6+ years.

This blog is dedicated for those who think for one second that being in a relationship is easy. No its not easy. It's a like a job that you don't get any monetary gain from. It's a full time, stressful, and gratifying thing you can ever experience. However, you go through tremendous ups and downs, but that's life. That's the way how life works. It's just up to you and your partner to want to make things work.

Now, I'm not going to male bash or anything, but I will say this: Ladies, Men have feelings too. Just because they may not want to open up and share their feelings, doesn't make them cold-hearted. From personal experience, Men (at times) may not feel completely comfortable sharing their feelings with you. And before you get upset with what I'm saying, think for a second.....He may not feel like talking about what's bothering him at that time. That doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't trust you. It means that he has issues with opening up to people. So, try not to take it too personally. That's just the way he is. Just remember that he loves you and you love him. The important thing is to be there for him when he wants to get whatever it is bothering him off his chest. Don't always jump to conclusions that he's cheating or not being completely honest with you. That will only cause a potential argument that either of you don't really need.

Now, gentlemen.....Some of you are under the impression that us women are smarter than you. Look here, we aren't that much better than you. We get things wrong all the time. We assume the worst because, we either been through a bad situation and don't give you the "1000" that you need from us. We like to use past indiscretions as a roadblock. That's why a good chunk of time, relationships fall apart because our scars run so deep that we don't see the good man standing in front of us. In addition, stop listening to other people dictate what they feel is best for you and the person your with. Remember no two relationships are exactly the same. There maybe similarities, but that's as far as it goes. Nothing more.

Now, I'm not saying that men haven't been in horrific past relationships, but for both sides...We tend to get with the next individual with low expectations. You may not want to admit it, but somewhere in the back of your mind your thinking it. You think that "they" are all the same and therefore don't put "1000" in the relationship. You get the typical 50/1000 situation and then the relationship ends badly.

But what about the 50% people? Is it that they are horribly flawed? Is it that they are doomed to fail? Who knows for sure? But I will say this: Before you decide you are tired of being single, think for a second about what got you to the point of "Living Single." Stop blaming the other person and look at what you have done to make things end up the way there are. Keyword: THINK!

What about the people who are in relationships and don't see the good that's in front of them? They get with someone who is loving, caring, supportive, all that good ish and then they mess it up by stepping out of the relationship with someone else. Why even bother getting into the relationship in the first place? Are you that worried about being called a slut or man-whore if you were just playing the field with no attachments? And unfortunately things like that is the reason why either men and women can't give the other "1000" that the other may seek.

In conclusion, I'm not saying there is something wrong with being single. This is an opportunity to spread your wings, sorta speak. This is time for self-improvement and a reminder of what not to do if/when you decide to take the risk and get into another relationship.

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